Losing Your Mind

You know, my lecturer is goin through a mid life crisis. He recently gave us an impossible assignment. Jus for the heck of it, i bet. But thats not the reason for this post.
Trying to meet the deadline, i have been stuck in front of the comp for days, surfing the net, typing...you guys know the drill. At some point of all this, i noticed myself becoming very passive. My mind seemed, well, blank. Usually, my mind would be racing with thoughts but these past few days, it seemed pretty quiet and dim up there. I managed to complete the assignment, but my mind is still MIA.
I have a name for this. The Too Much of Freaking Computer Syndrome. Symptoms include strain and pain in the eye, talking to the pc like it was your best buddy one moment and cursing it the next, the loss of ones grey matter, gettin irritated by other entities who dont resemble a pc,own parents included. The only cure is TNB screwing up to give us another blackout.

Don't 'Do Somethin'' Different

Have you seen the new fuck-up britney video? What the fuck is wrong with her? It looks like like an Ad for toys'r'us with cuts from a Triumph Ad. A Hint For Success: Less Toys 'R' Us and more Triumph. My dear Britney, when will you learn that girls like you should use your inborn talents as a stripper while making us proud, and should never ever rely on your ability to think with your brain...

Belated and So Be-guilty

Birthdays are extra special. A day to celebrate your life. Its our day, when our phones ring off the hook and presents are abundant ( i use the word abundant very loosely).
I almost always never forget to call friends on their birthdays. Usually its another friend of mine who can never remember anyones birthday, not if his life depended on it. In fact, i always take it on myself to remind him to wish the others, because he is hopelessly forgetful.
It was while i was sleeping that i realised that i forget a friends birthday.And since then i felt a more guilty than a thief who stole from the poor.This friend of mine, never forgot my birthday. And she always called at 12 midnight, like she was waiting by the phone cuz she wanted to be the first to wish me.
Im gonna make the so belated birthday wish today. My palms are sweaty, i have to come up with a good reason. Unless i was abducted by aliens to a planet with no means of comunication for the past few weeks, i really dont have much of an excuse.

They Died of Red Tape

I came across a story about the early days of Aids, in the 70s and 80s. How it got to be as bad as it is now, even though we could have prevented it, maybe even completely eliminating the virus.
In the US and France, the disease first surfaced among the gay community. The Centre of Disease Control in the US tried to detect and learn about the virus. The thing is, their hands were pretty much tied because government funding to study the disease amounted to chicken feed. Aids was formerly referred to as the Gay Pneumonia by the righteous and religous bigots who thought God was on their side.The gay stigma reached a whole new level. Tensions worsened when CDC recommended that bath places ( a pool where homosexuals go to meet and have casual sex) be closed for fear of spreading the disease. Of course, the gays revolted. Another dead end.
Who actually found the virus is still a controversial issue today. Some say it was the French, but a US doctor stole the credit. But heres is the cold truth : had the government and the society paid more attention to the disease rather than dismissing it as a proper punishment for gays, the disease might have been curbed. The chances are we would not have an epidemic on our hands today.
The first time President Reagan even mentioned the word Aids in his speech, 250, 000 Americans were already infected with it. There is this gay Aids patient who summed it up the problem perfectly when he said " I just dont want it read in my epitaph ' He died of red tape' ". Of course, he too died.

Alive and Clicking

I know no one gives a rats ass about the well being of my pc, but im gonna shout it out anyway. My pc is working again. It was a few weeks ago that it died on me, and since then ive been in a dazed stupor . It was like being crippled , almost as if i lost a limb. But my good neighbour , god bless him , worked his magic on it and Wallah, its back in shape again.
I have such a new found respect for the computer savvy people out there. I dont understand this machine very much.The earth will be colonized by aliens with fat asses and tiny heads before i can comprehend the comp. I cry whenever i do computer programming. So i am utterly amazed that some people out there not only know the computer like the back of their hand ,but can also find out precisely what is wrong with it and fix it, almost effortlessly.

Not Affliated

Disclaimer: I am not affliated in any way with what the writer wrote below. But If you girls still wanna bitch, go ahead and do so. It'll be interesting. (Now since i've said it, you wont, won't you?)

Someone recently sent me an email titled 26 things a perfect guy would do. I thought "hmm, nobody could possibly send me anything so stupid, it can't possibly be as dumb as it sounds". I stand corrected. The email was just as advertised: a wish list of how women supposedly want men to act. Here is the abridged list (because the full list might literally cause you to barf on your keyboard, and frankly, it's not worth reading), followed by my response to each "thing" that a "perfect guy would do":
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down!
When will women realize that they don't live on the set of a romantic comedy? Unless making you smile involves me playing video games while you cook me a steak, you're in for a disappointment. You don't think guys ever feel "down?" The door swings both ways, bitch.
9. Offer you plenty of massages.
For your boobs maybe. I happen to have the uncanny ability to massage breasts. With my mouth.
11. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
See, this is what pisses me off about women: they expect special treatment at their discretion. They want equal rights, equal pay, and equal treatment for everything EXCEPT when it comes to shit like this, then they want you to "react cutely" instead of, say, putting them in a head lock and making them eat ants and/or spiders while you give them carpet burn. Why don't women react "cutely" when men hit them for a change? Oops, I forgot, that's domestic abuse.
12. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
Any guy who would drive five hours just to see a chick for one is an asshole. If every guy drove around for five hours just to spend one with their girlfriend, we'd fill up the air with so much pollution that we'd all choke on the exhaust, get cancer, and then bake under the sun while our lungs rupture and we slowly die from internal bleeding.
13. Stare at you.
You stupid attention seeking whore, just buy the bitch a mirror, because apparently she thinks that you don't have anything better to do than to sit around and stare at her. If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel.
14. Call for no reason.
Oops, this one belongs on the list of "Twenty-six things women do that piss men off because they need to fill their otherwise vapid lives with something to make them feel like they have a purpose for existing as they eventually realize that they're pissing their youth away on stupid bullshit like fashion trends."
I can't go on, I'm going to go do something less painful like stick my dick in the oven.

Just found this thing funny that's all. I do truely surely definitely absolutely positvely unquestionably not agree with the things he said at all....

The Practice

A common advice. Be good at what you do.

" All I’m saying is 99% of high school relationships don’t last. So if you’re in one, and you want to get as much out of it as you can before it inevitably ends, have sex until it hurts. Hindsight is 20/20, so listen to someone who knows.
Pop Quiz: I wasn’t single at all during high school. Which part of having a high school girlfriend do I miss the most? (There's only one correct answer.)
A) Her bitching.
B) Fighting.
C) Buying expensive gifts.
D) Not remembering anniversaries or birthdays.
E) Jacking off using acne cream in her bathroom because I know she’s about to use sex as a tool to manipulate me.
F) Holding hands and not looking at other girls in public.
G) Having the life slowly sucked out of me.
H) Apologizing when I didn’t do anything wrong.
I) THE CONSISTENT SEX.
J) Pretending her friends don’t bother me.
K) Pretending I don’t want to have sex with her friends.
L) Getting in trouble when I tell my friends about our sex life.
M) Getting in trouble when I don’t tell my friends about our sex life (“You must think I’m ugly!!”)
N) Getting criticized for watching SportsCenter more than three times in a day.
O) Having to leave the house to do stuff.
P) Wearing clothes that I hate.
Q) Not being allowed to be myself during “that time of the month.”
R) Not being allowed to be myself ever.
S) Seeing “Baby Shower Monthly” in her backpack and a smile on her face when her period is five days late.
T) Explaining things very slowly.
U) Neglecting my friends.
V) Lying a lot.
W) Being lied to a lot.
X) Not drinking alcohol unless she's supervising me.
Y) Knowing how to use a telephone.
Z) Not having fun. Ever.
Your high school relationship isn't going anywhere. Use it to learn about sex."

Almost perfectly said.

Survivor Aceh

There are a man an woman who are the true survivors in my book.
The two had similiar stories.Tried but could not outrun the massive tsunamis.They both got swept into the sea with others who later died before their very eyes. AAll they had to sustain themselves in the middle of the sea were packets of instant noodles (Note: Maggie Mee better not have any ideas of using them to endorse their prodcts).
Anyway, what they went through most of us would not wish upon on our worst enemy. Stranded in the sea ,wet and cold and thirsty at the same time, the only companion being their prayers and the huge fishes nibbling at the feet.
I think both are recovering and doin well. Short of giving them an award for their sheer courage and wits to outlive ,outplay and outlast, they should at least be granted their simple wishes. To the man , we hope fortune favors you in Malaysia.To the lady, we pray you are reunited with your husband.

Pitt It Out

Marriage is no bed of roses, i get it. But often, in our mind of minds, we harbour an idea (im beginnin to think its a fantasy) of what a perfect marriage is, or at least one that comes close to it. For me, one of those As Good As It Gets Marriages had Brad HunkOfBurningLove Pitt as the husband and Jennifer Aniston as the wife.There are both so great together and for a while it seemed that they were gonna defy the myth that Hollywood marriage were doomed to fail.
So it was with a sinkin heart that i gradually begin to accept that Jennifer and Pitt are no more.I guess good looks, big hearts,compatibility and super start status are not enough to guarantee a happily married life.Or perhaps, is too much of a good thing a bad thing?All i know is thank god Travolta is still with kelly.

Alba-nificent City

Is it just me or does Sin City looks like it's packed with babes. Let's see there's Jessica Alba, Brittany Murphy, Rosario Dawson, Alexis Bledel, that japanese looking chick from 2 fast 2 furious, Jessica Alba, Jessica Alba.....
Also in the film is my man Bruce Willis, Benicio Del Toro, King Arthur, and Frodo Baggins. Quite a diverse group of actors if you ask me. Who the fuck cares? As long as Jessica Alba's in the movie. Didn't I mention that Jessica Alba's in the movie?

Empty Scrotum Syndrome

Cameron Diaz reportedly snatched at a cute Asian reporter for taking photographs of boyfriend Justin T. This is what happens when a guy spews way too much semen than his sacks can produce:

"I have to admit, being followed by photographers all damn day would get pretty annoying. So I definitely understand when I hear a celeb snapped at a snapper. But there's no excuse for letting your girlfriend do it for you... and then pounding your chest like King Kong as the dude lies bloodied on the ground. Nice work, JT. No wonder your voice is so high pitched. You, my friend, are suffering from a nasty case of Empty Scrotum Syndrome. Cameron was obviously acting out of frustration. Whether it was due to a few harmless photographers or the constant reminder that her boyfriend will never be able to father children, I guess we'll never know."

Come on Cameron. You are way too hot for him.

Constant Imagination

Have you guys seen the new Constantine trailer? It absolutely kicks ass. Not to mention the highlight of it all; Rachel Weisz Naked!! Okay, I'm only joking. Check it out here . I meant the trailer. With Rachel Weisz Naked. Joking again. Isn't it amazing how saying things a few times gets your imagination working?

Return of The Virus

Right now, im at my campus Computer Lab, freezing to to my bones.My pc has done it again. It happened last year, took us like forever to repair it. And now , when all my workloads are piling up like crazy, that gud-for-nuthing-piece-of -rotten-trash-of-a-doggone virus has to spring up again like a new years surprise gone awry. The last time it happened, i lost all the songs i downloaded painstakingly. And anyone who knows me knows mighty well how much i value my song collection. This time, a lot of my work that i saved...just gone without a trace.
But i must say, it could be worse. Since the First Attack of The Virus, i learnt to save all my work, even to make duplicates. But occasionally one gets lazy,and underestimates the power of ever cunning Virus. And for that , i must pay dearly.

Cruise/Spielberg Invasion

The Tom Cruise starring (and not to mention Dakota Fanning, whom i absolutely think is the most talented kid in the world, aside from that fucking kid in The Sixth Sense, tell me, did he die or something?) and Steven Spielberg directing adaptation of The War Of The Worlds from H.G. Wells' tale of a Martian invasion of Earth first published in 1898, easily cuts off as this summers most anticipated movie yet. Another Cruise and Spielberg collaboration? Can't you just hear the cash registers ringing?

2005

Forgive me. I'm totally in this fog of a hang-over right now till I totally forgot. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

Blaming Performance

In an article in News-Press.com, Ashlee was given "The Best Excuse For Being A Hack" title cause of her SNL stint. It mentions, "She blames her band at first, then blames acid reflux disease, but anyone who saw her performance at the Video Music Awards knows that she can't sing." At least she's hot, and I'm pretty sure she's not as dumb as Jessica. Pretty sure NO ONE's as DUMB as Jessica.