Julius Not Quite the Conqueror

Presentations were the nail in the coffin for the Roman Empire . Really. My history is a bit sketchy, but from what i can remember this is how the tragedy unfolded: Julius Ceaser had great plans for Rome, a good leader he was. But the people wanted to hear him speak, maybe cuz of lack of satellitle tv at their home.
So present he had to. But he hated talking in front of a huge crowd. And after some time, he coudlnt take it anymore. On one of his speeches, he started peeing in his pants( or robe, or whatever those Roman dudes wear).

So traumatised was he that he declared war on a small nation just so he could be away from Rome and avoid the awful humiliation that was subjected to him. And while he was away, his best firend Mark Anthony slept with Cleopatra, Julius lady.MArk and Cleo was so busy making passionate love they didnt notice Rome going up in a smoke. Meanwhile, Julius, brave as he was, dies from a urinaary tract infection caused by his 'mishaps' during his speeches. And so, the Roman Empire ended in a cacophony of adultery and involuntary urinary discharge.

On Julius's tomb stone (which is yet to be found), it reads "He came, He Presented, He Peed". And that, my friends, is History 101 for you.
I have a major presentation tomorrow. Lets hope history doesnt repeat itself.